


paper heart

by ensembledesétoiles (Tsundeyama)



Series: 30 kisses challenge (that i'll never complete probably) [2]
Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Books, F/M, Fluff, Intrusive Thoughts, It's Tsumugi We're Dealing With, Kissing, Light Angst, Love Confessions, References to Depression, awkward confessions, nose kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:55:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24155455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsundeyama/pseuds/ensembledes%C3%A9toiles
Summary: happiness because she’s a ray of sunshine and just the sight of her smile could vanquish his darkest thought.she raises her head from the book they were hunched over and gives him a curious look. his lips stretch in a smile that barely reaches his eyes. sadness because she’s too much, too good, and he’ll never be good enough for someone like.but not too sad either, not because of her anyway because he is sad as a whole, and then he is not and then he is again and he’s tired of feeling like this but it just won’t stop
Relationships: Anzu/Aoba Tsumugi, Aoba Tsumugi/Reader, Past Aoba Tsumugi/Sakasaki Natsume (mentioned)
Series: 30 kisses challenge (that i'll never complete probably) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1741573
Kudos: 11





	paper heart

**Author's Note:**

> this was intended to be shorter and very platonic but i think i got carried away by my deep love and affection for tsumugi and he is one of the bestest boy in the franchise and while i can relate to him on a spiritual level can he please not shatter my heart by wanting to kill himself. (yes i read those two event stories where he talks about dying and i'm SAD, cue the extra love given to him here). 
> 
> also, i just had to reference at a past natsume/tsumugi because i kinda ship them and yeah it's canon (but i might fool around on my main account writing some very angsty eichi/tsumugi but also i might not because that'll just make me sad).

one thing he loved about yumenosaki was the library. a quiet place, that smelled of old paper and ink and dust where barely anyone ever set foot — which might be just the reason why he spent so much time here as a librarian of sorts.

a second one was switch, his unit, and everything it represents : magic and witchcraft and colors and sparkles.

a third one was the producer. switch’s producer. well, she was the only one yet, an experimental addition to this all boys school and was in charge of a lot of the other units as well but she always spent the most of her time with them. she loved everything they stood for, she once had said.

so, quite often, she found herself alone with natsume or tsumugi, working on a new song or a new live proposal. less often, she hang out with sora, and they almost never talked about work. they were just friends. maybe tsumugi was jealous. he wanted to be close to her, too.

but he isn’t so jealous when she’s leaning against his side, eyes glued to the yellowish pages of the book they are reading together.

she’s awfully close like that, but doesn’t seem to mind, it’s not exactly the first time they shared a book, but still, tsumugi’s heart always acts up for a few minutes before settling back to a normal pace.

he never quite noticed it before but her hair smell of grapefruit and of lily of the valley.

_happiness_ tsumugi recalls from the book about the meaning of flowers he read when he was in fifth grade — he always loved flowers and reading about their symbolism. but he loved reading about a lot of things. _happiness_ and _hard work_ and there’s no flower that would suit the producer better than this one, probably. because she’s always trying her best and her hardest to make switch the best unit, and she’s a ray of sunshine and just the sight of her smile could vanquish his darkest thought.

she raises her head from the book they were hunched over and gives him a curious look. his lips stretch in a smile that barely reaches his eyes. _sadness_ because she’s too much, too good, and he’ll never be good enough for someone like her who has the half of yumenosaki fighting for her attention. tsumugi isn’t. he knows he doesn’t stand a chance.

he’s not too sad either, not because of her anyway because he is sad as a whole, and then he is not and then he is again and he’s tired of feeling like this but it just won’t stop. no he’s not too sad when he remembers that she chose to help produce _his_ group, and he is content just spending time with her like that reading and researching and sometimes just putting books back on the shelves because she insisted on helping him closing up the library so he could go home a little earlier.

as long as he doesn’t think about how he wants to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear or how the words burn his tongue when he wants to ask her if it would be okay to walk her home because it’s late and dark outside. he never does. of course she wouldn’t want that. what if people saw them, what if they start talking, what if —

« tsumugi, you’re not listening. » her voice is stern and there’s an unamused pout on her lips. « what’s wrong ? »

she gives his cheeks a squish and only now does he realize that her face is close. very close. so close he actually has to squint to see her clearly. the blood rushes to his cheeks in a instant and he forgets how to breathe.

her palms are gentle against his skin, and they have an old feel to them, as if the dust that coated the pages of the books gathered on her smooth skin, roughing it a tiny bit. or maybe that’s just how they are, he never held her hand so he wouldn’t know, but it seems unlikely. she’s always rubbing hand cream on her hands.

tsumugi makes a move to lean back, away from her to calm his loudly beating heart. he manages to stutter that everything is okay and that he was just lost in histhoughts. he doesn’t tell her they were low-key intrusive.

her fingers gently rub his cheeks and her face jolt forward in a flash, so quickly that he can’t even react quick enough to avoid the smallest touch of her lips on his nose before she sits back in her chair.

she grins. she’s absolutely not convinced by his reassurance but she can’t force him to share his struggles with her if he doesn’t want to.

tsumugi blinks, slowly trying to understand what just happened. his face feels hot, his nose feels cold and he scrunches it up before pawing at it as if dust had gathered on it and was itching. the girl burst out in laughter in front of him, hiding it behind her hand and the librarian can only pout.

« mugi, you’re seriously so cute it’s bad for my heart. » she is almost crying.

« it’s not fun ? you can’t just go around kissing people out of the blue like that ? » he scolds. « aah, i barely had a heart attack you know ? »

and he slouches against the table, head turned away and buried in his arms so she wouldn’t see how affected he is. (she does.)

he really feels like he’s having a seizure. first she _kisses_ him and now she calls him cute and what’s next ? he didn’t think she was so unfair.

« i’m sorry. » but she’s still quietly laughing. « i only wanted to cheer you up and show you my —»

she can’t finish her sentence as she’s cut off by his lips, softly pressing against hers. it’s not a grand kiss, just a peck that lasts just long enough for her to close her eyes before he pulls away, still refusing to face her.

« o-okay... yeah, i guess it _does_ actually give you a heart attack. » she brings a hand to her chest and melts in her chair. « the audacity you have, not looking me in the face when you just stole my first kiss... ah, be calm my heart... »

she whines and tsumugi looks back at her with an absolutely horrified expression. it was her _what_? oh no. he really did that. as if stealing a kiss on impulse wasn’t bad enough it had to be her _first_. but then again maybe it wasn’t uncommon to not have been kissed at seventeen years old. tsumugi’s first kiss did happen in a weird way since he was five. and that it was with natsume. does that even count ? he doesn’t know (he really was into _natsume-chan_ though, a shame she’s actually a guy. no scratch that, a shame she’sactually natsume switch’s leader that really isn’t all that cute.)

« oh my god, i’m so sorry. » and he really is. « i just thought... i mean you’re... i know it’s not an excuse but... how ? »

because she is so cute and pretty and perfect how come no one ever kissed her before ? if _he_ found the nerve to do it, then it must not be so hard.

« it’s okay, really. it just really took me by surprise but... i guess i don’t mind since it’s you. » and now she’s starting to blush too. « i mean, i was going to tell you about the affections i have for you before you cut me off so... »

and once again he blinks slowly. she squirms on her seat and presses him to say something.

« why ? »

« i basically confessed, i think it calls for a response. »

« no. i mean why do you like me ? »

« i don’t know. » she shrugs. « i just know i do. i mean you’re charming and nice and probably the nicest person i’ve ever met... don’t you realize that. »

no. he doesn’t. at all. but he isn’t complaining about this turn of event. she likes him. the producer half of the school wants to seduce likes him. the girl he likes likes him back.

a big genuine smile stretch his lips and he shakily clasps your hands in his.

« then please be my girlfriend. »

« i would love that. »

he breathes in to calm himself and brings one hand to cup her cheeks. she smiles and leans in the touch, closes her eyes and nods. it’s okay if he wants to kiss her again. rewrite that terrible first kiss.

the second time over, he takes his time to brush his lips against hers before pressing them against the soft, plump, not glossy anymore pink lips of his _girlfriend_. she kisses back, giving his other hand a squeeze. it’s still chaste and nice and it’s all they want.

« we should get back to our papers... » she whispers, breath falling on his skin delightfully. « i mean, it’s super nice kissing you but we’re still in the library and people could come in. »

« you’re right. we should. »

and he doesn’t really know where he left off or what exactly they were researching about but it’s fine. he leans in against her side to read over her shoulder, their hands still linked between them underneath the table.

**Author's Note:**

> hey, so that's kind of another addition to the kisses challenge huh. here's my take on "paper" wish me luck for the next one. 
> 
> PS: stan switch cowards


End file.
